I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
