Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
