True but thats because hes a fetus.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
