just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
