We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
