Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Houston, we have a squirter
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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