i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
