JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's shark week go big or go home
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
