Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
