I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
