i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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