Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
