apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
