dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
