I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
