She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
