We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my being single is dangerous.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Send help, water and tortillas.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
