my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
