last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
