turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The power of my boobs compel you
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