found the other keg... it's in the tree
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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