remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
