whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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