just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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