Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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