THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
