I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
