i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
