I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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