Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
