I'm going to jail i love you
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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