Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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