you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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