i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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