The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
