i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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