am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
