I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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