Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
