She's JV to your varsity
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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