so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
