Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
