I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
