She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
