I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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