I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
