You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
