just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
