remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
