I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
