***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I hate all girls vehemently.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
