Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
