Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
